Sol (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} solfood) wrote,@ 2006-10-19 15:41:00 |
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freedom from the belly of the beast
In January of 2005, at the start of my final semester at the University of Illinois, I received a package in the mail from an online store. Eagerly I ripped open the packaging on my dorm room floor and removed the contents. What I held in my hands seemed innocent enough: a small colored box with some pictures on it. What I didn't know at the time was how completely the contents of that box were going to rule my life for the two years to follow. The front of that box read: "World of Warcraft".
Perhaps it is appropriate to give some background first...
As far back as Third Grade I can remember the start of the journey to becoming the avid gamer that I am today. I remember playing my first Nintendo games with my friend Jake from school. Oh those Mario Brothers, how can an '80's kid forget the first time they fired up that game and started jumping on evil mushroom heads and chucking turtle shells at unsuspecting wildlife. Let's not forget Duck Hunt either. Sure, I may have missed the Atari, but I still got on the boat early.
As time marched on in it's familiar linear progression, my gaming prowess increased. On a trip to visit my grandparents outside San Diego few years later, my mother sprung a surprise on my younger brother and I. There in the living room for us was a Sega Genesis, and a little game called "Sonic the Hedgehog". Oh Sonic, how can a young boy not be thrilled by your adrenaline-inducing midi files and fast-paced action? I still have that Sega Genesis and the first three Sonic games. I have Sonic music remixes on my work PC to give me boosts of energy.
And so the story continues in this fashion, through the SNES, Nintendo 64 (Ocarina of Time anyone?), PS2, XBox, PC. Gaming was my hobby as well as a way to socialize and connect via something that always interested me vastly more than, say, sports. When I entered college, after finally breaking out of my shell a bit, I still used games as a connector. Diablo 2 kept me in contact with my friend X. Dungeon Siege helped me connect better with guys in my dorm (including a friend I was honored to be a groomsman for last weekend, gratz Hans & Maggie Hong!). Halo firmly bound together friendships with my sophomore roommate Rob and the enigmatic The Will. Life indeed had reached an all-time high with friends I could call family, a healthy dose of ups and downs, and a growing faith that emboldened and enriched my life. Then the January of 2005 rose into view over the horizon as the machina of time pressed ever onward. And that box lay in my hands.
It started off simple enough. Another PC game to play, like the many dozens I had conquered before, many with friends. This game was in a different genre than the others, which added excitement. It was similar to Diablo 2 (in fact made by the same company), but bigger and better. Immediately it drew me in. Soon I was exploring the outer reaches of Elwyn forest, battling robotic harvester robots gone bad on the fields of Westfall, going on an epic quest to vanquish the pirate leader Van Cleef. I got my friend X to pick up "WoW". I gave Rob and The Will the 10 day trial account that came with my game. Soon they both had their own paid accounts. So began the leveling.
We played and played. The game hadn't consumed us yet. We still played lots of Halo, and who could forget Half-Life 2? After a few months we started new characters on another "Realm" (another instance of the world). This was a Player versus Player realm where you could fight the opposing faction's player at almost all times, as opposed to our old "carebear" server where this was more restricted. So began the new level grind as valiant warriors of the Horde.
By the mid-Summer of 2005 we had reached our maximum level: level 60. Finished was most of the exploring of the vast lands of the planet Azeroth. No more leveling and killing for experience. Now began the much more sinister "end-game" experience. I was living at home with the 'rents for the summer until my new job began in August. I had lots and lots of free time to play WoW. And there was lots and lots to do. There was "farming" (repetitive actions for in-game money, items, etc.) to be had! X and I farmed gold for our epic mounts that let us travel much faster. We farmed the level 60 instances like Stratholme, Scholomace, Blackrock Spire, and Dire Maul for better gear to make our characters better. We upgraded from "green" gear to "blue" gear. But, as any experienced MMO player knows, it all ends up with raiding.
We all joined with a bigger guild (an organized group of players) to start working on the "raid dungeons": 40-man dungeons of high difficulty whose bosses have the best gear in the game, the epic, or "purple" items. We eventually left our first guild for not being serious enough, and ended up eventually being the first founders of a new raiding guild, Hazardous, in December of 2005. Since that time i have raided between 4-6 nights a week, every week, up until October of 2006. We progressed through each tier of raid dungeon, as each got harder and harder. We decked ourselves out head to toe in some of the best epic gear and beyond that money can't buy. We focused on being the cool kids on the block, part of the elite. We had conquered unthinkable enemies and returned with their heads on pikes. Most of us eventually became officers of the guild, with additional leadership responsibilities and charged with the safeguarding of the guild's well-being. But time moved on, and as it did so, WoW got less and less fun, until one day I woke up and it was completely a job. A job I was spending more time on than at my actual job that I get paid for.
The newness had long since worn off. No new places to explore except the occasional next tier raid dungeon that was released and that we progressed through painfully slow. There were no new zones, the novelty of leading had worn off and had become a burden rather than a blessing. All my work of becoming one of the "elite" was cast aside as i saw players walking around in "green" gear wearing pieces of purple gear and better that I had worked many many months on getting. The value of my character was entirely relative, and in order to even maintain the level of "cool" required putting in 40 or more hours a week. There was no end in site. The newest dungeon came out and rather than skip over an unneeded tier dungeon, the guild decided to work on the lower dungeon instead. I argued with the officers but eventually bit my tongue and went with the wishes of the guild. For a couple of months I did this, but when we started the top dungeon finally and then backed off again, that hurt me badly (after all, how could i maintain my coolness then?) Officers were "emo" and snapped at each other, and sometimes got drunk or high while playing. As the blinders were pulled away from my eyes I began to see the self-first mentality driving most players to get new gear. The insults, the backtalk, the racist and sexist comments thrown around. Eventually it wore me down, I started "burning out" more than ever before. I made arrangements for others to take over my responsibilities as I began to fade.
Last week i cancelled my subscription to World of Warcraft. On October 26th of 2006 I will no longer be able to log on to the game and play. The peace of mind it has already given me is wonderful. I hope that my friends that are still in the game follow suit at some point soon.
No matter what people may say or think, this is a very real addiction. The game is so absorbing and time-consuming that you cannot stop when you want to. To the detriment of your work, your family, your friends and your health you end up playing every free minute you have. You literally live in the game. It is not a game you can pick up and put down. It is not a game you can pause.
I have said I may come back for the expansion pack for a while, but I think even that may be a bad idea. As put by Tycho of Penny-Arcade: The Burning Crusade expansion for WoW is coming, so named because of how the game devours human lives, leaving them a smoldering ruin. I could go on, but I think this post is long enough as-is.
My name is Artemus Sol, and I am/was a WoW addict.
In January of 2005, at the start of my final semester at the University of Illinois, I received a package in the mail from an online store. Eagerly I ripped open the packaging on my dorm room floor and removed the contents. What I held in my hands seemed innocent enough: a small colored box with some pictures on it. What I didn't know at the time was how completely the contents of that box were going to rule my life for the two years to follow. The front of that box read: "World of Warcraft".
Perhaps it is appropriate to give some background first...
As far back as Third Grade I can remember the start of the journey to becoming the avid gamer that I am today. I remember playing my first Nintendo games with my friend Jake from school. Oh those Mario Brothers, how can an '80's kid forget the first time they fired up that game and started jumping on evil mushroom heads and chucking turtle shells at unsuspecting wildlife. Let's not forget Duck Hunt either. Sure, I may have missed the Atari, but I still got on the boat early.
As time marched on in it's familiar linear progression, my gaming prowess increased. On a trip to visit my grandparents outside San Diego few years later, my mother sprung a surprise on my younger brother and I. There in the living room for us was a Sega Genesis, and a little game called "Sonic the Hedgehog". Oh Sonic, how can a young boy not be thrilled by your adrenaline-inducing midi files and fast-paced action? I still have that Sega Genesis and the first three Sonic games. I have Sonic music remixes on my work PC to give me boosts of energy.
And so the story continues in this fashion, through the SNES, Nintendo 64 (Ocarina of Time anyone?), PS2, XBox, PC. Gaming was my hobby as well as a way to socialize and connect via something that always interested me vastly more than, say, sports. When I entered college, after finally breaking out of my shell a bit, I still used games as a connector. Diablo 2 kept me in contact with my friend X. Dungeon Siege helped me connect better with guys in my dorm (including a friend I was honored to be a groomsman for last weekend, gratz Hans & Maggie Hong!). Halo firmly bound together friendships with my sophomore roommate Rob and the enigmatic The Will. Life indeed had reached an all-time high with friends I could call family, a healthy dose of ups and downs, and a growing faith that emboldened and enriched my life. Then the January of 2005 rose into view over the horizon as the machina of time pressed ever onward. And that box lay in my hands.
It started off simple enough. Another PC game to play, like the many dozens I had conquered before, many with friends. This game was in a different genre than the others, which added excitement. It was similar to Diablo 2 (in fact made by the same company), but bigger and better. Immediately it drew me in. Soon I was exploring the outer reaches of Elwyn forest, battling robotic harvester robots gone bad on the fields of Westfall, going on an epic quest to vanquish the pirate leader Van Cleef. I got my friend X to pick up "WoW". I gave Rob and The Will the 10 day trial account that came with my game. Soon they both had their own paid accounts. So began the leveling.
We played and played. The game hadn't consumed us yet. We still played lots of Halo, and who could forget Half-Life 2? After a few months we started new characters on another "Realm" (another instance of the world). This was a Player versus Player realm where you could fight the opposing faction's player at almost all times, as opposed to our old "carebear" server where this was more restricted. So began the new level grind as valiant warriors of the Horde.
By the mid-Summer of 2005 we had reached our maximum level: level 60. Finished was most of the exploring of the vast lands of the planet Azeroth. No more leveling and killing for experience. Now began the much more sinister "end-game" experience. I was living at home with the 'rents for the summer until my new job began in August. I had lots and lots of free time to play WoW. And there was lots and lots to do. There was "farming" (repetitive actions for in-game money, items, etc.) to be had! X and I farmed gold for our epic mounts that let us travel much faster. We farmed the level 60 instances like Stratholme, Scholomace, Blackrock Spire, and Dire Maul for better gear to make our characters better. We upgraded from "green" gear to "blue" gear. But, as any experienced MMO player knows, it all ends up with raiding.
We all joined with a bigger guild (an organized group of players) to start working on the "raid dungeons": 40-man dungeons of high difficulty whose bosses have the best gear in the game, the epic, or "purple" items. We eventually left our first guild for not being serious enough, and ended up eventually being the first founders of a new raiding guild, Hazardous, in December of 2005. Since that time i have raided between 4-6 nights a week, every week, up until October of 2006. We progressed through each tier of raid dungeon, as each got harder and harder. We decked ourselves out head to toe in some of the best epic gear and beyond that money can't buy. We focused on being the cool kids on the block, part of the elite. We had conquered unthinkable enemies and returned with their heads on pikes. Most of us eventually became officers of the guild, with additional leadership responsibilities and charged with the safeguarding of the guild's well-being. But time moved on, and as it did so, WoW got less and less fun, until one day I woke up and it was completely a job. A job I was spending more time on than at my actual job that I get paid for.
The newness had long since worn off. No new places to explore except the occasional next tier raid dungeon that was released and that we progressed through painfully slow. There were no new zones, the novelty of leading had worn off and had become a burden rather than a blessing. All my work of becoming one of the "elite" was cast aside as i saw players walking around in "green" gear wearing pieces of purple gear and better that I had worked many many months on getting. The value of my character was entirely relative, and in order to even maintain the level of "cool" required putting in 40 or more hours a week. There was no end in site. The newest dungeon came out and rather than skip over an unneeded tier dungeon, the guild decided to work on the lower dungeon instead. I argued with the officers but eventually bit my tongue and went with the wishes of the guild. For a couple of months I did this, but when we started the top dungeon finally and then backed off again, that hurt me badly (after all, how could i maintain my coolness then?) Officers were "emo" and snapped at each other, and sometimes got drunk or high while playing. As the blinders were pulled away from my eyes I began to see the self-first mentality driving most players to get new gear. The insults, the backtalk, the racist and sexist comments thrown around. Eventually it wore me down, I started "burning out" more than ever before. I made arrangements for others to take over my responsibilities as I began to fade.
Last week i cancelled my subscription to World of Warcraft. On October 26th of 2006 I will no longer be able to log on to the game and play. The peace of mind it has already given me is wonderful. I hope that my friends that are still in the game follow suit at some point soon.
No matter what people may say or think, this is a very real addiction. The game is so absorbing and time-consuming that you cannot stop when you want to. To the detriment of your work, your family, your friends and your health you end up playing every free minute you have. You literally live in the game. It is not a game you can pick up and put down. It is not a game you can pause.
I have said I may come back for the expansion pack for a while, but I think even that may be a bad idea. As put by Tycho of Penny-Arcade: The Burning Crusade expansion for WoW is coming, so named because of how the game devours human lives, leaving them a smoldering ruin. I could go on, but I think this post is long enough as-is.
My name is Artemus Sol, and I am/was a WoW addict.
